i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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