Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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