Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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