Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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