Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
