you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
