She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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