The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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