i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Less talking, more tequila
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize