I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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