i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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