I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
