I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
