i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize