i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
