the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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