I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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