It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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