You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
