we're blogging at a bar
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
