he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
