I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
