i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize