I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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