I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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