how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
