I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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