20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
false alarm, still single
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
