i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Your penis caused this!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
