just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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