dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
