So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
4 words: hood of his car
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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