So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
