nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
