No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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