i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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