We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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