im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
