my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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