: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
no, he came in my armpit
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
