i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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