the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
