Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize