My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
