This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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