i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
