I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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