Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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