omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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