those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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