oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
