There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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