I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
