Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
