everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
