i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
im six kinds of drunk right now
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
