I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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