and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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