don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
