no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My penis needs a shock collar
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
