I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
