This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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