Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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